The Unified Code of Morning Measurements (aka A Little Something I wrote)

Wherein we measure the earliest hours of the day by the list of figures found on the inside flap of a Trapper Keeper.

 

• 4 smooth sheets to an Oversleep

• 2 cold hands to a FanOn

• When speaking of stomachs, 1 LateSnack is said to equal 9 stone.

• Laundry as obstacle is only considered such when it can be measured in cubic feet like a snow drift or landfill. Otherwise, please refer to as “a hillock of laundry”

•  Trips to the bathroom may be measured in feet (bare or socked), yards (hopefully not back or front) but only rods or gallons if you’re being really gross.

• The number of pints input is directly proportional to number of Regrets (Chemical Symbol OhNo) output.

• Good Intentions (Gis) decrease as Snooze Bars (Sbs) increase. A dozen or more Sbs is commonly referred to as a Pathetic.

 

• 8 hours = 1 Success 

          7 hours = 3/4 of an Adequate

 

          6 hours = 1 basket case

 

          5 hours = 1 bushel (i.e. 2) bakset cases.

 

• In olden times a “Sundown” was equal to a null set of Work. All that has changed.  

 

Catchphrases of The Dwellers of My Favorite Coffee Shop

A list I put together for The Hairpin. Examples...

• "Mostly milk, a little cream. You're doing it wrong! Just hand me the sugar packet!"

• "[tongue click] Congress [head shake]"

• "I said, the USUAL."

Complete list at The Hairpin. 

 

 

Two announcements: Different Job, New Book.

Today I've got two announcements. I'm switching jobs and writing another book. The first is happening because of the second.

For the past three months, I've been VP of Marketing for Byliner, a great startup aiming to be both a discover engine for and a publisher of narrative journalism. It's been my job to not only get attention for our published titles but for Byliner itself. And because we are a young company in a still-forming area of the market, the challenge was considerable, my hours long.

Shortly after I took the job, I received word from my wonderful agent that Prometheus Books wanted to publish what would be my second book "Practical Classics: Why You Should Reread Your High School Reading List." "Practical Classics" is an essay collection written this time entirely by me. My first book "Bookmark Now: Writing in Unreaderly Times" was an anthology, plenty of work, sure, but not of this regular, multi-hours a day of writing, kind.

Much as I loved my new job, I loved the idea of writing another book more. And given what they both demand as this stage, I don't see how I can give both my best effort and not end up cheating both.

I made a decison. Professionally I am a writer first and everything else second. I need to finish this book. Byliner is a great company, run by great people with a mission I admire. But there are other jobs. Someone wanting to publish a book of yours doesn't come along often enough to shortchange it.

I consulted with my wife and called our accountant. We would be okay--not flush but okay--until next year if I worked fulltime on "Practical Classics."

That's what I'm going to do. I told Byliner and they understand. I'll still consult with them on a per-project basis, sit in on editorial meetings and generally shift to an at-large role within the larger company structure. I'll keep all my stock and extended relationships with the company.

As far as partings go, that's about as amicable as it gets.

Starting this week, I'll be writing fulltime. I plan to work up to 4 hour a day regimen of writing and about that much on reading and research. I'll take the occasional freelance assignment for diversity and needed income. I'll continue to honor public speaking commitments (3 this fall) and be present on social media.

Most importantly, I'll be writing. This is an absolutely rare chance. I'm grabbing it while its still here.

New Article: "User Generated Content: There Just Isn't Enough to Go Around."

My second article for the good people at Paid Content was published this week. 

"Citizens of the 21st century have a glut of platforms on which to tell their story—and a limited amount of time and energy to do so. Generally, they will default to where their friends already are, which technology is easiest to use, or which one scratches a desire they didn’t know they had (like accumulating imagery “badges”). For the companies that can reach all three of these summits, below lies the sunlit valley: a kind of biography of their habits and aspirations that consists of a giant pile of user data on where we go, who we go there with, how often and how much money we spend upon arrival. To imagine what can be built using that information as data or as platform boggles the mind.

But the companies that don’t reach those summits should not be under the illusion that users will keep giving forever."

Read the rest of the article here. 

Book Promotion Series Part 10: When its time to stop...

Thus far in our series we’ve discussed getting ready to promote your book and what you should do when the time comes. We’ve had nine lessons. The time has come to wind up. We conclude our series with knowing when to quit. Knowing when it’s time to stop promoting the book and move on to writing the next one. This is not an easy decision and is usually based more on intuition and feeling than on  scientific deduction. But I’ll do the best I can to help you identify the signs of stopping and make an informed decision once you see them. HOW LONG? To know when to stop promoting, we must first ask ourselves how long one should promote. This comes down to your circumstances.

• Working with a publisher. Your publisher will specify how long they expect you to be available to promote your book. Standard term is 3-6 from the day of publication. If you’re working with a publicist, they’ll tell you how long they’ll be working on behalf of your book and when its time for them to switch to next season's titles. If you’re publisher hasn’t specified when these things will happen, its up to you to ask them. Do not be shy. You must know. Because after that point, you’re on your own and it probably won’t be time to stop even then.

• Self-publishing. If you’re publishing your own book, promotion is your responsibility. But you are only human, not the Energizer Bunny or James Brown. You’ll want to work your tail off for the same 3-6 with a cleared calendar, but after that, it’s a question of balance, time and resources. What you can you do for your book that will help it and not beat you down in the process?

It’s easy when either a) your publicist has signed off or b) you’ve had to promote yourself from day 1 to get discouraged. To think “well, Oprah hasn’t called so why bother?” I understand that instinct. But most of the time you will be selling your book short if you give up on it that easily. So before you do... DEFINE A GOAL How many books do you need to sell to 1) Have your publisher break even or 2) If a self-published book, recoup your costs? That many minus however many you’ve sold is the finish line. This isn’t about making money. This is about your book not costing anyone else money and you having the opportunity to write the next one without a bunch of red ink next to your name. Knowing this, have you done everything for your book that you can? Are you deciding to stop for the right reasons and not just because miracles aren’t happening for your book as quickly as you’d like them to?  Ask yourself these questions using… THE AM I DONE? CHECKLIST

1. I have gone through my entire list of contacts and told them all about my book?
2. I have also returned to the friends and loved ones who would be sympathetic to me saying “One last push for my book! Could you help out just a little bit more?”
3. I have make the same push to my social media network.
4. I do not have or plan on having another edition or adaptation of my book coming out (paperback, ebook, transmedia property) which would make another round of promotion justified
5. I cannot afford more time away from my normal life.
6. I cannot afford to spend more money on book promotion.
7. I am tired, irritable and have said all I can say about this book. I’m therefore a lousy spokesperson for it at this point, even though I’m the author.

The last one, #7, is most important. We are only human and do not represent our work or ourselves well when exhausted. So if wake up in the morning and the thought of another event, another interview or promotional effort of any kind fills you not with excitement, not with dread but with emptiness, stop. You’ve done what you can do for your book. It belongs to the world now. Before you give it a funeral though or race on to the next book, give yourself a day off. Engage in one of your favorite activities or pastimes. Allow some time to reflect. You’ve just past an enormous milestone in the life of a writer. You’ve probably had help from family and friends. Your book has earned its place in the world, thanks a little to luck but mostly to you. When the day is over, say thank you again to the universe for the opportunity and for the urge to write that brought you here. Over the next week, write a few emails and make some calls to those who were most helpful to you during this time. Then take another deep breath. The next book awaits. It’s time to start again.

Book Promotion Series Part 9: Authors Getting Real About Social Media

Last time we mentioned we’d be discussing social media and technology in this segment of our series. We are not the first to go here. The articles and books indicating what technological wizardry authors should be using to get their books noticed are myriad. Stacked together, they could block a garage door. One google search on “Should authors tweet?” or “social media for writers” will send them towards you like a fire hose stuck up your left nostril. So we will refrain because who needs more from a fire hose? Instead this chapter of our series will be our shortest. When talking about technology and authorship, the message we must bring to has between supported and repeated by the previous 8 segments. We’ll only say it slightly differently. “When selecting the appropriate tools for promoting your book, choose the best fit for your book and your reader, not the shiniest toy.” I have given hundreds of talks to writers over the last decade and I’ve taken to doing a quick scan of technology news the day before an engagement. Because if a publication of any size has written about Twitter/YouTube/Insert new hot technology company name here that week, come Q&A I will invariably hear…

• Should I be tweeting?
• Should I YouTubing?
• Should I be using something I don’t know/don’t understand/and haven’t even pronounced correctly because I read about it in Newsweek?

There are three false assumptions at work here. 1) Authors assume that promotional success awaits whomever grabs the newest tool first 2) That “newest” means “best” and 3) If they don’t grab it, they will miss the legions of readers using this tool and saying “we would have bought that book if only the author had used New Tool X to find us. Let’s look at each of these missteps and ow they be framed as strong, productive questions instead of acts of desperation. Assumption #1: No tool is a magic wand. If using a social media tool meant instant bestsellerdom, everyone would do it and the bestseller list would be 95 million books long. We hear about the authors who used a tool well because it is an exception to a rule, not a solution for everyone. So instead of asking “should I be using x” let us start an alternative. Instead: What is my book and what is the right tool for it? I know I’ve said this a million times in our series but I cannot emphasize it enough. Without knowing your book, no tool will work on its behalf. Without understanding the lock, its pointless to look for the key. Return to our previous exercises and ask: “What is my book. Who are my readers? Which tool would reach them best?” Answer to the last of those inquiries follows… Assumption #2: New tools are just that. New. Not better. New. Twitter, Facebook, Flickr, Goodreads are all tools. Tools do some things well and some things not so well. Because they are digital tools doesn't make them any different than tools made of wood and steel. You would use a hammer when hanging a picture but not to trim your fingernails. So what is the tool and how well does its purpose line up with your book? Equally as important: How well does the tool line up with your strengths as an author? Are you hilarious and fun in quick bursts? Twitter might be for you then. Can your book be divided into short exciting segments (travel books, cookbooks for example). Twitter again is a good fit. Flickr might be a good fit if you are a skilled amateur photographer or if your book lends itself to visual images (guide books, coffee table, location-dependent novels). If you’ve got 500 facebook friends already, why ignore that avenue? Instead: Right tool. Right book. Any tool you are curious about do a “what is Tool Name” search on google. Then ask yourself “What is this tools primary function and is that function a good fit for my book? Then do a google search on “what’s the best way to use Tool Name.” Read it. Does it sound like something you could do well even if it makes you a little uncomfortable? If yes, then do it. If no, then don’t. Because… Assumption #3: I’ll be punished if I don’t tweet/youtube/Facebook! My readers will abandon me! If our readers are gathering like crazy somewhere and we don’t know it, let’s call this a high-class problem and move on. The only tool you’re going to be punished for not using is one blatantly obvious. No website, no listing on BookTour (ho ho) is grounds for abandonment. Everything else… Instead: Research. Think a tool might be right for you, spend some time googling “Authors who use Tool Name” well. What can you learn from them and apply to you and your book. Or go one step bigger and look at the careers of the successful authors in your genre (don’t go nuts. If you write mysteries, study your favorite local mystery author, not James Patterson) and see what they’ve done. Then steal it from them. Technology and Social Media are not fairy dust. They are methods by which authors, readers and books form three legged and enduring relationships. Relationships beyond “buy something from me” and “I really enjoyed that thing you wrote.” Social media are methods to maintain ongoing communication with your readers, for them to see you and your books as relatable, as something they wish to know and support. It is very hard to remain unknowable while maintaining a Facebook page or a twitter account. But that doesn’t mean you need to be spilling your guts to your readers every five minutes. But they might like to know about the process of creation of your next book, what you’re reading, your thoughts on the future of publishing etc. You won’t know until you give them an opportunity to ask you. And if you feel like you don’t know how, you’re not alone but that’s not an excuse. How to use a social media tool is not a state secret. Find others in your field who are using them well (again google) and ask them. For next week: When to quit.

Book Promotion Series Continues: Part 8B: "How to Have a Great Book Event"

Last time, we discussed the logistics and bigger questions of setting out on your book tour. We called it “the fun part” of our series and probably jumped the gun. Planning your own book tour may indeed bring you joy (particularly if you  the sort who enjoys the challenge of say, finding an hotel vacancy during Thanksgiving weekend), but most likely, you feel like planning is the responsible, adult part of anything (including book tours) you must trudge through before getting to the fun.

Fair enough. Trudge you have. Now we’re at the fun.

(Full Post, Complete Series) 

 

Book Promotion Series Continues: Part VIII: "Your Book Tour and How to Plan It"

Last time we talked about how to give a great interview. That was probably the first time in our series that book promotion has sounded not just practical but glamorous, maybe even fun. Of course it’s important to describe your book in a smooth, clean sentence, or get your friends excited about the promotion process. But these are functions and not sexy ones. The sexy part of doing all this, we dream, is the unexpected interest, the strangers saying "I love your work," the out-of-the-blue calls saying "could you be at the studio tomorrow afternoon?"

The sexy part of book promotion is going on a book tour.

(Full Post, Entire series on Book Promotion). 

 

Book Promotion Series Part 8B: How to Give a Great Event

Last time, we discussed the logistics and bigger questions of setting out on your book tour. We called it “the fun part” of our series and probably jumped the gun. Planning your own book tour may indeed bring you joy (particularly if you  the sort who enjoys the challenge of say, finding an hotel vacancy during Thanksgiving weekend), but most likely, you feel like planning is the responsible, adult part of anything (including book tours) you must trudge through before getting to the fun.

Fair enough. Trudge you have. Now we’re at the fun. You’ve mapped out a block of time you’re going to spend promoting your book. You’ve got a handful of events of varying colors and shapes on your calendar. Wowee. On that date in the not-so-distant future, a group of people will be gathered to hear you, the author, talk about your book. Neat huh? And unless you’re hammier than Little Richard, kinda scary. You already wrote the book. Now you gotta sing and dance about it too? Today we’re going to talk about doubling down on the “neat” and minimizing the scary. We’ll do that by looking at the lifecycle of the typical book event and how to push yours it towards awesome at each step.

Ready? Let’s go on tour.

Step 1: Getting People There. Few of us are The Reverend Billy Graham where the promise of us talking draws a screaming crowd. So you’ll have to do a little hustle to get folks to show up at your book event. And while I encourage any writer with a tour date coming up to list it in community calendars, local newspapers, on BookTour etc. the truth is it won’t matter all that much. Because unless you live on an ice floe, your event is competing against every other choice a possible attendee has for that evening—going to the movies, dining out or just staying at home with a book. Given those options “Look honey! A writer I’ve never heard of reading from a book I’ve never heard of,” rarely wins out. It’s wise then to plan events that have their own marketing muscle or a built in audience. A bookstore with a strong events program will have an active mailing list and a crowd that shows up just because they trust the store’s taste. Find out which ones those are by attending a few events on off-nights (Monday, in January or when its raining) and see how many show up. I also encourage writers to plan non-bookstore events at places that both match the readership of their book and are also where those potential readers already spend their time. Workplaces, conferences, interest group meetings, houses of worship. Put simpler, if you’ve written a novel about beekeepers, should you be holding events at just a bookstore or a bookstore and the local apiarist society? You’ll still be expected to bring your own crowd. And that means asking friends and family with a firm but sparing hand to help you “fill the room” and buy books. It will only help if the venue has its own crowd already.

Step 2: What should your event look like? The standard book event goes like this:

• Author is introduced
• Author says a few words about their book then reads a few passages.
• Author answers questions and autographs newly purchased copies.

It’s an old formula but a serviceable one. It just isn’t that exciting for the people who came to see you. What can you do to jazz up your event? Go back to what sets your book apart from others like it. Then use those differences to create a memorable evening for your audience. Any book about food is remiss not having food at their events. Same with any book about music, movies or any feature which most people enjoy on its face. A travel book event should have photos and slides. Poetry should be read aloud or performed dramatically. An event for a biography should have juicy gossip about its subject and perhaps costumes or giveaways. The common thread here is playing to the essential uniqueness of the book by creating a unique experience. What makes your book special and how can you make that the backbone of a special evening? Fundamentally, that’s why audience is there. They can find out about your book's existence in a hundred different ways, most without leaving the house. By asking them to leave the house you are promising them something more than information. You are promising them an evening out.

Step 3: Iron clad rules for a good event. Every successful book event abides by the following rules.

• Be brief: Assume anyone who comes to your event leads a busy active life. You are asking for an hour of it, which is asking a lot. You show the most respect for your audience by keeping your event short, sweet and leaving them wanting to know more about your book. 30 minutes is ideal, 60 is the absolute maximum. Beyond an hour and your audience just switched from thinking about your book to dinner, money left in their parking meter, the uncomfortable chair they are sitting in. You make whoever invited you angry because a restless audience means fewer book sales. Worse of all, you come across as arrogant and rude, as if nothing in the life of your audience could be more important than hearing about your book.

Asking for your reader’s time is a sacred covenant. Treat it with the utmost respect.

• Be clear: You are the evening’s entertainment and nobody leaves home to listen to mumble. Speak and read how you would like to be spoken to, with clarity, conviction and pizzazz. Make eye contact. Every passage you read should have a beginning, middle and end. State at the top of the event what the structure of the evening will be and stick to it. Address every question asked with respect and thoughtfulness.

• Be willing: Everyone hosting or attending your event is doing you a favor. The answer to anything they ask short of organ donation is “yes.” Yes, you can show up a bit early, yes you will sign autographs afterward, yes someone can have their picture taken with you, yes you will chat with staff. You do it and say thank you. Each one of these seeming inconveniences is an expression of their deepening interest in you and your book. And each one increases the chances of them inviting you back, recommending your book to someone else or telling their colleagues what a nice person you are.

Anyone who arranges book events has a tough job. If you make it harder, they will hold it against you and your book. Make it a pleasure and it will pay off for a long time after you’ve gone home.

• Be grateful. Book promotion, even touring is hard, tiring work. You will feel crabby and uncomfortable. You will say to yourself at least once a day “this isn’t why I became an author.” And invariably when someone at one of your events asked “How is your tour going?” you may feel the need to vent a little. About how tired you are, about how awkward promotion feels and about how you can’t wait to “get back to your writing.”

Don’t. There are few bigger turnoffs to an audience than an author complaining about being an author. For many sitting there, you are living their dream. For nearly all, going on a book tour seems impossibly glamorous. Complaining about it makes you look like a spoiled brat. No one wants to support the literary efforts of a spoiled brat.

• Be quick on your feet. It’s hard not to get flustered at poorly-attended event. Or one where the staff did a half-rate job. Again, you may be tempted to complain to someone, or at least mutter to the three people who came about the injustice of it all.

Again, don’t. You’ll make whoever came uncomfortable. Instead, see it as an opportunity. Sit down with your small crowd and chat it up. Ask them about why they came, what they like to read. Be the interesting, thoughtful, warm person you are. If they are came, offer to buy them a drink at the nearby bar.

Step 4: Remember why you do this at all. Fundamentally, every book event is about forming deep connections and relationships between you, your book and its advocates. Ideally the event iboth an hour well-spent and an appetizer-sized bite of your book and its wonders. Morever an event is the living manifestation what you want for your book and its readers—reflecting exactly the type of energy put into it. If you and your events embody the these emotions—communalism, warmth, possibility, fun—your new readers will feel the same towards you and your book.

Homework: Imagine then write down what your most successful event will look like.

For next week: All about technology...

Book Promotion Series Part 8: Your Book Tour and How to Plan it.

Last time we talked about how to give a great interview. That was probably the first time in our series that book promotion has sounded not just practical but glamorous, maybe even fun. Of course it’s important to describe your book in a smooth, clean sentence, or get your friends excited about the promotion process. But these are functions and not sexy ones. The sexy part of doing all this, we dream, is the unexpected interest, the strangers saying "I love your work," the out-of-the-blue calls saying "could you be at the studio tomorrow afternoon?"

The sexy part of book promotion is going on a book tour.

What do you see when you hear the words “book tour?” A tastefully lit room with walls of regal brown? A packed house leaning in to your every crafted sentence? Answering questions about your  “process” while a helpful assistant reminds you of the line of autograph seekers vanishing like a horizon out the back door? Must not keep the people waiting, your smile assures her. They’ve already preordered your next book.

I’ve got that fantasy, too. We can both have it for only one Pulitzer Prize or a time machine back to the autumn of 1965.

For now let’s assume we have neither. What does this book tour look like? I had one a few years ago. A baby threw up on me. An earthquake struck while I was naked and shaving in a Palm Springs hotel room. I took about 650 trips to the airport and forgot where I was at least four times. Nobody showed up for some of my events and it felt awful. At few others, hundreds of people showed up without me asking. On those days, I felt like I could lift mountains.

My book tour was wild, exhilarating lunacy that left me grateful, exhausted, delighted and sad, all piled up between dinner and breakfast. And I wouldn’t have traded it for anything.

I was also lucky. I had a publicist who valued events, five years of national public speaking experience on my résumé and relationships at venues throughout North America. Many stars will have to line up for me to be that lucky again.

Plan your book tour like it’s the only one you’ll ever have, because a) it might be, and b) these days, planning it is mostly your responsibility. Few publishers pay to send authors out on tour anymore. So if you think doing events, in your hometown or far, far away, is an important part of being a published author (in most cases, it is), your book tour will consist of a series of engagements starring your book and arranged, from the ground up, by you.

Next time we’re going to talk about how to be the star of your events. This time, we’re staying with how to set events up.

Wait, hold on. Should I?

You don’t throw a birthday party for a sofa, so let us not waste time on a mismatch. Are you or your book are right for events as a promotional tool and, if so, what kind of events? If you’re terrified to speak in front of a crowd or if your book wouldn’t benefit from such a thing, perhaps this isn’t the right approach. You can teach yourself how to speak publicly, and you probably should. No one is going to do it for your book but you. But if the book plain isn’t “event-right,” it’s mowing the lawn with a screwdriver. Wrong tool, wrong purpose.

Novels, poetry, humor and how-to books are great for event-style promotion. Biography, history, novelty titles, not so much. Rule of thumb: If your book is boring to an audience when read aloud, find some other way.

Let’s say your book is “event-right.” What then?

Kevin’s Four-step Mini Guide to Planning Your Book Tour:

• What kind? What kind of event is right for you and your book? Decide this by what plays to your strengths, but accept a few cold realities. Author-at-microphone-awkwardly-reading is not a big draw anywhere but a community with little competing entertainment. There aren’t too many of those. So what can you do to liven up a presentation of your book and make your event an experience instead of (let’s be real) a polite but ill-disguised sales pitch.Is your main character a basketball coach? If so, can you set up a hoop and have a free-throw contest in the bookstore? If your memoir is about growing up on an apple orchard, I’d like fruit bushels and cider tastings at your event, if you don’t mind. The baseball murder mystery we featured a few segments ago should probably have Gaylord Perry memorabilia scattered about or craft a “how to host a baseball murder” dinner in conjunction with a local civic organization.Big question here: What kind of event can you structure around your book that makes for a special evening, rather than an “I guess this is better than watching TV” evening, for your readers?

• How far? Now that you know what kind of events fit your book, you need to decide how far afield you can go with them.

Start close to home. Venues nearby will be predisposed to aid a local author and easier to work in partnership with. If you’d like to do multiple events in your area, roll them out at least a week apart and vary the event type and venue. Doing six events at six competing bookstores all within twenty miles of each other risks overexposure and is not fair to the small businesses taking a risk on you.

 

If you’d like to travel, make sure first you have the time and resources to do so. If you’ve assembled your team and put your house in order, you should be able to do at least a few. But don’t start flying about at random. Where do you have large concentrations of friends and family that will show up? Where have you worked previously or gone to school? What organizations—civic, religious, professional—do you have relationships with that you could call on? Where are they located?

If friends/family or an organization would like to throw an event for/with you, make sure they’ve got books on hand to sell. I advise partnering with a local bookstore (independent shops will do this much more willingly than chains), as that store then has good feelings toward you and your book and will speak well of it to their customers long after you’ve gone home.

• For Whom? If you are trying to secure an event at a bookstore or other venue you don’t have an existing relationship with, you’ll have to pitch them in much the same way we discussed in our pitch segment. If your publisher is throwing some marketing muscle behind your book, they’ll do this part for you. More than likely, you’ll have to do at least some of it yourself.

In a pitch, your target venue wants to know three things:

 

#1 Is your book “their kind of book”? Stores and venues have customer bases to which they direct their programming. A store next to a retirement village will not be game to feature you and your graphic novel about death metal bands. Use common sense and do your research using BookTour's database to find out what venues host what sorts of authors before you even consider pitching.

#2. Will your event both bring in customers and sell books? If #1 is a yes but you’re still an unknown author, I’d get promises from 10-15 friends that they will show up and buy books. Include that promise in your pitch. Otherwise, you’re asking a small business to put staff time, resources and their reputation into an unknown commodity. If they’ve read your book and love it, great, you’ll hear from them. If not, plan to bring your own crowd.

#3. Can it fit into our calendar? Most venues book out weeks if not months in advance. If it’s Tuesday and you’re asking for a slot on Friday, you seem like an amateur and worth the risk Be sure to take a venue’s needs into account before you start pushing your own.

A pitch, then, is two to three paragraphs requesting an event, describing the type of event you plan to do, your book, and how it fits into the mission of the venue. As we’ve said before, be professional, succinct and informative.

• For Whom? At this stage, if someone wants you for an event six months from now, you say yes unless the request is outrageous or expensive. Same if they want you tomorrow. You’re on the promotion trail right now, and any interest is good interest, potential energy waiting to become kinetic. Promoting from a dead stop is painful and demoralizing. And this is supposed to be the fun part.

Plan to be doing this for six months. Here in the early days, start booking events using these simple lenses: What Kind? How Far? For Whom?

Next week: We will discuss what makes a great event, once you’ve got them planned.