Clever White Guy Humor:

I have nothing to add to the dialogue about the world's most overexposed music video save this: Clever White Guy Humor (CWGH)* leaves me cold. Especially when its laughs come from an endless loop of references to other funny white guys.

Odd, because I'm usually big on something that can be summed up and understood in a sentence (Alien was famously pitched as "Jaws in Space" which I think is brilliant). But this is less than a sentence. It's a bunch of half-sentences  with the bottoms falling out, like a used coffee filter.

"Internet memes! And we're a big famous rock band so you didn't think we've have time for this stuff. But we do! Get it?"

Er yes, I do. Is there more? Or is it guys dancing on treadmills? Clever yes, but self-contained clever like Rice Rice Baby. Its no more a cultural milestone than say, a very good knock knock joke.

*But that's the essence of Clever White Guy Humor: The inflated value of a celver, soulless exercise. It humor made of seeming to take nothing seriously all while taking yourself deadly seriously. Or posing as a goofball while tacitly implying that no one in the room is as funny as you. Borne from the world view that all of life's experiences are a version of a latenight freshman dorm conversation at an east coast liberal arts college. Offenders abound mostly in film (Wes Anderson, Noah Baumbach, Zach Braff) and music (Weezer, Flight of the Conchords, Tenacious D) but I'd take suggestions on their counterparts in television (David Letterman is their patron saint) and literature.

What say you?

Misread Today: "Bitch Magazine is not a Drug Company"

In pulling the latest issue of Bitch Magazine ("The Wired Issue") I see a long strand of electrical cable on the cover, the letters B-I-T-C-H and immediately my mind goes to.

"What is BITECH and why are they sending me this thick pamphlet?"

I'm way overclocked. After SXSW, I'm going rent out a yert for a month and communicate by banging yak skeletons together.

'24' at 56 K:

Imagine the tv show 24 if it took place in the early Clinton years. Hilarious! (via Booboolina).

First! (among no one)

On the pathological need to be first on any internet relating commenting or discussion. Hilarious (via Enric).

Doris Lessing on her Nobel Prize Win:

Best reaction ever. (via GalleyCat).

Shoes...Shoes...

I am the only person on planet earth who has not seen this video, right?

The Oscar(s):

25 Days of Oscar begins today. Except in this case, Oscar is a 2 year old. (via Michelle Richmond).

The Meaning of Life:

If it ever comes to this, I give all of you permission to murder me with sharp, pointy objects.

Hindenberg With Fins:

Oh the Huge Manatee!

(via my friend Sarah, who is a friggin' riot)

Kvetching...

Heeb Magazine has this feature called Urban Kvetch, artfully deployed complaining on a variety of mundane topics. An example...

Two Dimes and a Nickel
The ice cream comes out to $4.50. I give you a five and you give me a quarter, two dimes and a nickel. Are you rationing for some pinball war I should know about? You’ve got plenty of quarters left in the register. It’s common fucking courtesy. If you don’t want to give me two quarters, then change the price to $4.75 or something. I don’t want to deal with your issues when I’ve got laundry to do. Seriously, I’m wearing bathing suits as underwear for chrissakes.
JOSHUA NEUMAN

I was inspired to try one of my own

Your friend's band
We've had a tasty meal, a few glasses of wine. I will be trying to kiss you in the cab. So I'd rather remove my appendix with a railroad spike than head to Club Sticky Floor to hear your friend's band. No, they don't "sound just like Arcade Fire" and yes, that jerk from the Weekly knew exactly what he was talking about. You even think they suck. And "you're friend?" You've already slept with him or plan to come last call. We're only here because you think I won't try anything naughty while getting elbowed by that guy in the ironic "Alf" T-Shirt.

So please, could you leave me to my couch and ABBA:Gold? Then we'll both get what we want

eh?